Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
