I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
