The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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