im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
