he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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