she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
