You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
