I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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