he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
