marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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