Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
