That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
