so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
