these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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