Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
