The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
