Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They took my balls.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
