I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
