Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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