wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
