found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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