pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
