so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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