Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
