uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
