from now on my penis is your penis
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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