Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
