True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
