is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There's always time for handjobs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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