Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
