The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
