Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
