Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
