What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Randomize
