Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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