But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
love makes seman taste better
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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