maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
