What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have peed in a lot of sinks
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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