i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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