I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
