Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
