I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
