In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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