My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
