I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
