break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
