I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
