So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
