I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
