and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
